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Music reviews, editorials, gear reviews for the guitarist/bass player, journal entries, advice, funny crazy stuff and more. Updated roughly 2-3 times a week.
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Monday, August 07, 2006Bazooka-Joe’s Contribution to the Comeback Cliche
Hello my loyal blog readership and welcome back to Bazooka-Joe’s Incoherent Ramblings. I’ve been on the blogging DL for some time now, busy with the usual distractions, commitments and video game addictions. If you don’t mind though, I’d like to forego the obligatory “my dog ate it” and get right to the meat of this ere blog. Bazooka-Joe is leaner, meaner, and more regular than ever before (Weight Watchers worked for me). 56 pounds people! That’s right, I’ve lost as much weight as an aquatic butterdeer I’m happy to enunciate. So in celebration of an overly predictable return from hiatus, and in honor of my usual list-based, too-lazy-to-type-paragraphs-for-an-entire-blog form…my first blog back from the depths is….
Top 10 Greatest Comebacks of All Time! #10 – The McRib Sandwich  Hi everyone. My name is Bazooka-Joe, and I’m a McRib addict. I can’t talk too much about this one or for too long or I’ll go into remission in a blinding blaze of glory ruin my truck’s transmission getting to the nearest McDiabetes. Needless to say this is not on the approved short list of cabbage-family foods from WW, but if my memory serves me right, it’s pretty much the sole rationale a 26 year old would need for being 5’7” and 235 lbs. It’s made a few comebacks in the 90’s and my understanding is that its number was permanently retired, but not before one fleeting moment of stardom in the highly acclaimed McRib Farewell Tour. #9 – The 1972 Steelers vs. the Raiders I of course have never actually witnessed this amazing display of footballish heroics the likes of which the world has never seen since. But my understanding of the replays is that it goes something like this: Bradshaw to Francos for a 60 yard TD with 5 seconds on the clock. Often referred to as the “Immaculate Reception”. (Honorable mention here goes to the 1974 Dolphins vs. Raiders: the Snake to Clarence Davis with 26 seconds left) #8 – John Travolta’s Return to Film in “Pulp Fiction” While just about the furthest thing from “family friendly” we can’t really deny that ol’ Johnny really outdid himself with his portrayal of Vincent Vega in the 1994 Quentin Tarantino film about the mob, boxing and bloodshed. Love it or hate it, it’s viewed by most of the public as a masterpiece and definitely put Travolta’s game back on the scene. #7 – Lee Iacocca Many squawk about Iacoca receiving billions of Federal dollars to, basically start the US automobile manufacturing industry in the 70’s especially considering his stance on “the government should not be a sugar daddy for incompetent and lazy people who cannot support themselves”. A bit harsh perhaps, but I can’t help but smile to that viewpoint. What people often fail to realize though is that those funds were loaned to Chrysler and the thousands of production line workers were saved. Here’s a quote: “Chrysler was on the ropes in those days thanks to competition from Ford, GM and especially imports. They were within days of padlocking the place and turning thousands of workers out on the street. Under Iacocca’s leadership, and with the help of those private sector loans, Chrysler made one of the greatest comebacks of all time.” They paid off their loans in full, interest and principle and before they were due. #6 – The Eagles If you haven’t heard of the Eagles then you’ve been living under the proverbial rock for literally half a century. What’s funny is, due to their “Hell Freezes Over” CD/DVD, I think they’re actually more famous now than they ever were in the 70’s. In 1993 the band reformed and started the notorious comeback. They’ve had some member problems and some legal problems since then, but their return on the scene was pretty remarkable. #5 – Yo Mama so fat… Perhaps the word “comeback” has no more clearly understood and accepted linguistic use in the universe of a 11 year old boy’s mind than the trash-talking “burn”, “putdown” or other synonyms referencing the playful taunt. This exchange proceeds on and on, back and forth, until one of the taunters has no “comeback”. One of the most common burns and comebacks is the “Yo mama so fat…” line of defense. Often accompanied by the popular “Yo mama so ugly” and “yo mama so stupid” comeback allusions. My understanding is that in Britain, they actually say “Your mum…”. #4 – 80’s Fashion That’s right, rumor has it that 80’s fashion, in only 20 years time, will be making a comeback no later than next fall (2007). I have to say I can hardly wait! Lopsided ponytails, ripped sweatshirts, aqua eye shadow, parachute pants…YES! Some trends never live long enough or notoriously enough to see the highly coveted come back of the discount thrift bargain bins. For everything else there’s MasterCard. #3 – Boston’s comeback against the Yankees I included this in spite of my unwavering loyalty to Joe Torre’s Yankees. Most because I simply couldn’t keep up with replying to all the hate mail my masses of loyal Boston readers would send me. Ortiz, “the curse” (yes I’m making pretend quotation marks with my fingers and saying it in a funny vocal overtone), bloody sock, blah, blah, etc, etc. So there. There’s the proof in this articulate pudding that I’m not biased. Whatever. On to number two. #2 – Lance Armstrong Really, I shouldn’t need to expand on this one. Diagnosed with cancer he never should have even lived long enough to compete in his first Tour de France, much less win as many as he has. Five is it now? You gotta love this guy. Beating the French, in France, that many times, single handedly. Lance in my opinion has crossed the echelons of the likes of Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods to become world-renowned for his sportsmanship and quality of performance in his sport, and his recognition has long surpassed just the fanatics of his sport.  Here’s a quote from Lance’s cameo appearance in the movie “Dodgeball”: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit.#1 – The Scottish War of Independence We’ve all seen the movie “Braveheart” so I don’t think I should even have to expand upon this one much. One of the greatest displays of conquering over adversity and injustice I think the world’s ever seen. The United State’s heritage is similar, though the oppression was far worse for the Scottish in the 13th century than it ever got for the colonies in the 18th century.
Bazooka-Joe made it so at 8:14 PM
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