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Monday, September 12, 2005My Bottom 10 OK, so if you want to take a gander at what I want for my birthday, then do check out the ol’ wishlist. But this post is a break in the monotony of Studio updates for those of you whose yawning has given way to nodding off entirely. So, without further adue…my Bottom 10! The ten most suck-worthy things. Honorable mention goes to Taco Bell's new Fajita Quesadillas. Truly inedible. 10. Non-standard Size Business Cards They simply don’t fit in my holder. They stick out one way or another and throw off the whole mojo I got going on at my cubical here at work. 9. People that use their fingers to create quotation marks when they talk. I think this one pretty much speaks for itself, don’t you? Is there anything more irritating? 8. Moderately liberal celebrities that go on the air to tell people how much they’re contributing their time and/or millions to hurricane Katrina victims. Get over yourselves already. And fire your publicist. Nobody’s falling for your particular variety of bull. As if the reporter bringing it up actually makes you blush and wasn’t on either of your cue cards. 7. Bono & Live 8 6. The fully automated “smart” bathroom Here at work we have faucets that don’t turn on until you put your hands under them. At least that’s how they’re supposed to work. On occasion they actually do turn on. When washing your hands most people get their hands wet before applying soap. The water always keeps running long after my hands have left the water and reach for the soap dispenser, which is also motion sensitive. By the time I get soap on my hands the water’s still running for about a second or two. Then I have to go through the effort of trying to get the faucet running again to rinse the soap off. I’m usually done rinsing long before the faucet kicks off again. I’m really glad they’re conserving water with these devices. The towel dispenser is, of course, also motion activated and rarely works. But if you flail your hands back and forth in front of it long enough trying to get it to work, you’ll usually get your hands air-dried right about the time a paper towel square spits out. 5. Emails with more than one “Fwd” or “Re” in the subject line. 4. There was this one time I had to “moon the moon”. Dano was there, weren’t you Dano? Yeah, I wound up cutting my foot wide open on a tent stake. Long story. Had to be there. 3. Bands that use Na na na’s in place of writing actual words to their songs. Thank you Strongbad. What are we paying you for anyway?!?! 2. That guy who screams “Goooooooaaaaaal!” for 30 seconds at soccer games (and the people that use that sound clip). 1. Olestra Chips The warning on the bag actually says, “Warning: may cause underwear staining associated with anal leakage”. Kudos to Proctor & Gamble, who apparently really can sell anything. I’d like to see them force fed their own products.
Bazooka-Joe made it so at 2:37 PM
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